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ITLAPD [Sep. 19th, 2006|12:09 am]
You know what Tuesday is. Right? International Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Here's a long-ish but pretty amusing training video to help you out with the pirate-talk skillz.

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(no subject) [Sep. 11th, 2006|02:01 pm]
Jonathan is making me go to the gym with him.  Ugh.  This morning was our first time.  We didn't do any of the aerobic machines, because Jonathan didn't realize we would be allowed to (we don't have memberships yet), and also because Jonathan and Angie both had a 10:20 class and we had to leave anyway.

Then, since I had a lot of time, and I now have an inhaler, I decided to go for a jog around my neighborhood.  Ouch.  No wonder I have been putting off learning to run again for so long.  It fucking hurts.  It's not my body that's not up to it, although I'm not in exactly spectacular shape; it's my lungs.  It hurt my throat, and my chest, and my head, immensely.  I get really lightheaded and dizzy, in addition to getting a headache.

I alternated running and walking, because I would have passed out if I'd tried to run continuously. But I made it through the whole distance I set out to do.  In retrospect, I'm really glad we didn't do treadmill/elliptical/whatever today, I wouldn't have wanted anyone to see me struggling and miserable like that.  It probably would have scared people anyway, asthmatic people trying to exercise always look and sound even more awful than they feel.  But I've conditioned myself to be able to run before, and that was without the aid of an inhaler.  At least I know it can be done.

The only thing I really hate about this gym idea is the idea of people seeing me with my face flushed to its customary astounding shade of fuschia.  It's really terrifying, I've never seen anyone else flush quite like I do.  It looks like I just got a blast of steam in the face and got third-degree burns everywhere except my upper lip.  I think when I start doing aerobic stuff around other people, I'll wear stage makeup.  Yes, I'm serious.
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(no subject) [Sep. 6th, 2006|12:00 pm]
This is the kind of thing that makes me laugh my ass off, thus improving the first day of school.

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(no subject) [Aug. 25th, 2006|02:11 pm]
Earlier this summer, when Steph was visiting, Ben came over one morning and made us go to the Air Force recruiter so his friend Bob could get out of work. So I had to get dressed quick. I wore a black thrift store dress, and as soon as Ben saw it, he told me it reminded him of Marla Singer. I was so complimented. That is, in fact, more or less the aesthetic I'm going for with the thrift store dresses and other old stuff I wear - stuff that used to be nice and elegant and classy but is now a little beat up and dated as well.

I was poking around on eBay just now, and I found a Marla Singer dress. I'd venture to say, THE Marla Singer dress. She wears one pretty much exactly like this in the movie, right?  I kind of want to buy it.  But I think it would only look good on someone with a pretty sticklike figure... in other words, someone who's not me.  But if I liked how it looked on me, I'd wear it.  You know I would.

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Spot on. [Aug. 22nd, 2006|06:17 pm]
You scored as XIII: Death. Death is probably the most well known Tarot card - and also the most misunderstood. Most Tarot novices would consider Death to be a bad card, especially given its connection with the number thirteen. In fact this card rarely indicates literal death.Without "death" there can be no change, only eventual stagnation. The "death" of the child allows for the "birth" of the adult. This change is not always easy. The appearance of Death in a Tarot reading can indicate pain and short term loss, however it also represents hope for a new future.


XIII: Death


III - The Empress


VIII - Strength


XVI: The Tower


XIX: The Sun


IV - The Emperor


0 - The Fool


XV: The Devil


II - The High Priestess


XI: Justice


I - Magician


X - Wheel of Fortune


VI: The Lovers


Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com
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yet another makeup pet peeve post [Aug. 9th, 2006|05:13 pm]
I've been sort of away for a while. I missed a month or two of eyeshadow posts.

Now that I've started looking at them again, it's with a fresh eye, and I'm noticing more and more things that I didn't remember were so annoying. For example, it drives me nuts when people think the "crease" of their eyelid is actually where it creases. It's a misnomer anyway, when people (who know what they're doing) say "crease", they mean the soft spot between your browbone and your eyeball, the place that on some people is dented in when their eyes are closed.

But people for some reason decide to interpret it literally and put a line of dark color right across the center of their eyelid, because, yeah, that's where the skin creases. I can't understand why people do that when it obviously looks shitty. I'm sick to death of seeing people's eyeshadow done by some ill-interpreted set of rules, instead of with any understanding of the principles of shading that guide those rules. No, what I'm actually sick to death of is seeing these people constantly complimented on this kind of makeup.

There's one girl in particular who I didn't realize I was so glad not to see on an almost daily basis anymore. Everyone regards her as incredibly good. I don't see it. She uses ninety thousand MAC products blended to a pulp, and in the end, her eyes look flat and shapeless because her eyeshadow is an amorphous blob, her face makeup looks like random patches of color, and her lips are a big wide expensively-hued streak. She seems to have no concept of shape or contouring, just a lot of rules that she follows blindly.

People think she's awesome for two reasons: A) her makeup is never messy, and 2) she's really beautiful anyway, so it hardly matters that she's messing up her looks a bit rather than enhancing them. People so often make the mistake of seeing crummy makeup on a beautiful person and thinking the makeup is good because the person looks beautiful.

I'm thinking of giving up eyeshadowsluts and moving on to a rating community like smokin_makeup. It's been so long, and people like that one girl have such a mass of devotees, I can hardly speak up now and unload my fairly large number of fundamental criticisms on her or others. I feel bad about it... but eyeshadowsluts is a learning community, it only takes you so far. It's too big and full of too many beginners for people to give really detailed constructive criticisms. Nice as they were, I've had enough compliments from the undiscerning masses, I'm ready for some fine-tuning.
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(no subject) [Jul. 29th, 2006|06:34 pm]

Most of them reminded me of Andy. Some of them even looked like Andy to me.

I liked how the writer's wife said that if we had to avoid all men who are children, there would be no men to date. Brings to mind what my sister once said about marriage: "Men want a mom they can fuck."
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(no subject) [Jul. 28th, 2006|10:30 pm]
"American Values Agenda"?!?! There's no universal system of American values. How unAmerican to even use a phrase like that. And could they get more hypocritical than having a Federal Marriage Amendment (marriage = man + woman) under the same agenda as a Freedom of Religious Expression item?
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(no subject) [Jul. 15th, 2006|10:11 pm]
This morning I had a dream that culminated in me axe-murdering a goth guy. I cut his right hand off a la Star Wars, but aside from that initial success, I had horrible aim with an axe. I finally got him in the back, and then landed the death blow right into his heart, which, against all logic, was clearly visible after he had died, hanging out of his chest with the axe lodged in it.
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(no subject) [Jun. 30th, 2006|12:30 am]
LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:unlockable
Your haiku:party at my house
i don't want to be less than
a minute in there
Created by Grahame
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